tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73691512011-07-14T20:34:03.168-04:00bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.comBlogger1671100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-20197711734129594722006-12-18T18:48:00.000-05:002006-12-18T19:30:04.638-05:00

Hi again friends (all three or four of you!) I'm not dead, I'm just suddenly way too awesome and important to find time to blog.But I'm back now (assume from that what you will) and I'm so flattered by all the interesting and intelligent people who have come by to find the answers to life's great mysteries here on my blog. How did these modern day geniuses find their ways here? Let's have a look!

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1137665426441647292006-01-19T05:05:00.000-05:002006-01-19T05:10:26.450-05:00

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/01/18/global.warming.ap/index.htmlWASHINGTON (AP) -- Six former heads of the Environmental Protection Agency -- five Republicans and one Democrat -- accused the Bush administration Wednesday of neglecting global warming and other environmental problems."I don't think there's a commitment in this administration," said Bill Ruckelshaus, who was EPA's first

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1133154599788818822005-11-27T23:59:00.000-05:002005-11-28T18:28:32.690-05:00

Really. Lots more balls. I've been bored with this blog for a while now, obviously. I felt it was time for something new. The winds of change were blowing and I decided to set course for testicle jokes. It's a departure from feminist rants and random cursing, I'll admit. But there'll be something for everyone. Oh- and that something will be in limerick form. So stop on by! Say hi to my new blog

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1129847918738249502005-10-20T18:26:00.000-04:002005-10-20T18:38:38.743-04:00

Apparently I do!Some of you may have noticed my absence of late. My bad, yo. What can I say? I haven't really had much to talk about. I would rant about the news, but honestly, it's been making me quite happy lately. Let's run it down.FEMA is getting shit-talked.Rove and Libby are getting shit-talked.Delay was *arrested.*Bush's approval rating is in the shitter.And his nomination for SCOTUS who,

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1125908448010966432005-09-05T04:14:00.000-04:002005-09-05T04:20:48.206-04:00

Did you know that there's a small island country in the middle east called Cyprus? I didn't! I've spent the past few hours taking quizzes such as this one: http://www.lizardpoint.com/fun/geoquiz/euroquiz.htmland failing miserably. Miserably, I tell you.It's appalling. There are entire *countries* that don't exist in my brain. What happens in Cyprus? I don't know! For all I know, unicorns could

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1123392947694828752005-08-07T01:33:00.000-04:002005-08-07T01:35:47.700-04:00

He shall be exalted! All the lands sing his praise! For Flavian got a perfect score on Karaoke Revolution's "Under Pressure."Behold!http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/6298/up2md.jpgIn the wise words of Flavian: "Seriously, fuck that guy that just says 'bee bee do bo dop!' all the time."Preach it, brother flav. Preach it.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1123206788455421232005-08-04T21:51:00.000-04:002005-08-04T21:58:33.723-04:00

I really wish I knew a guy with 3 balls. Then I could nickname him trinity and everyone would just assume it was Matrix-related when really, it's scrotum-related. How hilarious would that be?The Flav has informed me (hopefully jokingly) that I could give him the nickname Singularity if I wanted to. Ew.In other news on the Flavian Front, his birthday was last weekend. Happy b-day, Flav! We got

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1122707062241797512005-07-30T03:03:00.000-04:002005-07-30T03:04:22.246-04:00

South Carolina: Fuck them.Mark it.

Guy Incognitohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12526709339880180010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1122706319877432022005-07-30T02:40:00.000-04:002005-07-30T02:51:59.883-04:00

Just wanted to give a shout-out to my homies at Lowe's. Whazzaaaa?!? Hardware reprazentin! Appliances in da hizzous! I used to shop at Lowe's a lot. My husband and I would play a game called the $5 bong. It's pretty self explanatory. You have to make a bong out of stuff for sale in the store and you can only spend $5. It's not that hard until you run into the helpful staff. This requires quick

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1122245737657728692005-07-24T18:17:00.000-04:002005-07-24T18:55:39.660-04:00

Okay, maybe not quite what Bob Marley had in mind...http://www.christianexodus.org/That's right. There's a Christian organization dedicated to upping the already mindboggling concentration of people with Strom4Life tatoos in the state of South Carolina.It's as if these people sat around thinking to themselves "What could possibly make Ryan hate South Carolina more than he already does? A-ha!

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1121995339685603842005-07-21T20:35:00.000-04:002005-07-21T21:23:59.996-04:00

I was, coincidentally enough, reading an article on xenophobia at my desk when I found myself staring at it. In t-shirt form."Welcome to America. Now speak english!" was the friendly request. I really think that in cases like this, there should be a standing exception to general professionalism guidelines. I'd really love to have given him the finger, but I had to settle for passive aggressive

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1121840498613738662005-07-20T02:10:00.000-04:002005-07-20T02:21:38.620-04:00

I'm too lazy to write anything on this anti-french fry crusader that Bush has nominated to the SCOTUS, so I'll let the following conversation be my in-depth political commentary on the situation. Russia is my pinko-feminist-liberal friend who's currently in Russia, because she kicks that much ass.Russia: who is it?Russia: the nomineeMe: some utter douchebagMe: john roberts jr?Russia: a man?Russia

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1121817007675678252005-07-19T19:49:00.000-04:002005-07-19T19:50:07.680-04:00

It's being said that the name John Roberts Jr. has been leaked to NBC as Bush's nominee. Who the deuce is he?!?!

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1121814929836450612005-07-19T19:10:00.000-04:002005-07-19T19:15:29.840-04:00

So someone found my blog while searching for "painless geography placemats." I have NO idea what kind of sadistic geography placemats this lost soul is currently dealing with but there clearly needs to be a better way to attain geographical information while eating potroast, people! If they ended up at my blog in search of help, they're clearly running out of ideas. I fear that time is a factor

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1121813611479080492005-07-19T18:43:00.000-04:002005-07-19T18:53:31.486-04:00

So... 9pm tonight is the big announcement. Someone, probably Arlen Specter said that he hoped someone with varied life experiences would be the supreme court nominee, not just someone with legal expertise.I'm hoping this will be a good sign for me. I was crushed when I lost my bid for pope, so hopefully this will pan out for me. Justice Wankershanks has a *great* ring to it. I'll let you all know

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1120263758928911442005-07-01T20:17:00.000-04:002005-07-01T22:31:02.703-04:00

O'Conner is retiring? No no no. That's one hell of a typo, Mr. CNN Guy. That's supposed to say "Rehnquist." Really.Can I get a big "dubbleya tee eff" from my homies? Really. WTF?The only good thing to come out of this is that my friend Rachel (aka Wyzardess, aka the most awesome girl in the whole world cause she's in Russia right now and simultaneously working with Ohio NARAL on some kick-ass

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1120263359861636282005-07-01T20:11:00.000-04:002005-07-01T20:15:59.866-04:00

I clearly should not be allowed around impressionable people. Here's a conversation between myself and my 14 year old cousin (the sexy hero!) Jessica:Jess: Pro-lifers are really great.Me: Whaaaaaaa?Jess: Well, if you cook them just right.ha! I probably should have said something about it being morally wrong to broil your political opponents in a nice marinade of lemon and garlic. Maybe a little

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1119663551830537392005-06-24T20:39:00.000-04:002005-06-24T21:39:11.876-04:00

My boss left the keys to his Aston Martin here at my desk for the weekend. What was he thinking?!? Of course, I'd never actually do anything immoral/illegal with these keys, even though we all know that this is definitely the only opportunity I'll have in my middle class life to drive one of these. But I wouldn't, because I'm just that trustworthy. And because I fear the cold embrace of a jail

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1118534987358710142005-06-11T20:05:00.000-04:002005-06-11T20:09:47.363-04:00

According to yahoo's front page for news (talk about a slow news day) Prince William just received a Master's degree in geography.Geography?!?!Do they really give grad degrees for that? Maybe I'm just out of touch with the ever-changing reality of... the placement of countries, but wouldn't you probably get laid off the second your employer discovered maps? Seems like a fickle job market at best.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1118377752608385572005-06-10T00:25:00.000-04:002005-06-10T00:29:12.613-04:00

I won't beat around the bush here. Our friendship has nothing to do with our common interests or anything like that. Nothing at all. I’m friends with Candice so I have someone to shop with at Banana Republic and not look quite so gay.As any man of high fashion knows, purchasing the very clothes that will get one "laid and paid" will, ironically, only get you a wry smirk by the girl ringing you up

Guy Incognitohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12526709339880180010noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1118376352668158242005-06-09T23:53:00.000-04:002005-06-10T00:10:25.973-04:00

Ol' Flavian recently alerted me to this breaking news story:Nerds make better lovers.He thinks this means his day has come. "First Christina Aguilera, then the world!" he said. Of course, his excitement should probably be tempered with the reality that this is the same newspaper that breaks stories about pot-heads prank calling an ex-president and that feels that slang and nicknames are

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1118375447707159762005-06-09T23:09:00.000-04:002005-06-10T00:12:31.326-04:00

My cousins, Jess and Becca are sexy heroes. I'm not exactly clear on why that is... but that's what they want me to say on my blog. Sexy heroes! I went to visit them yesterday for the first time in... quite a while, I'll admit. Going to their house is always a learning experience. This time, I learned that while Johnny Depp is in fact hot, some poor, tortured white guy named Gerard is even more

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1118372721845587342005-06-09T22:09:00.000-04:002005-06-09T23:09:12.536-04:00

So, it seems that Brian (aka Flavian, aka GuyIncognito) has a girlfriend. I'll just let that soak in for a while. Brian + Girlfriend = whaaaaaa?For those of you who don't know the Flavinator like I do, the probability of this occurring is somewhat greater than the odds of him saying "Binary is dead to me!", but slightly less than that of him growing a third eyeball.But I suppose stranger things

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1117944938865289132005-06-05T00:12:00.000-04:002005-06-05T00:15:38.870-04:00

If you could choose how you died, what would you pick? Disturbingly enough, here's Flavian's answer:"... skydive over a city (sans parachute AND clothes). I'd probably take some poison before I hit the ground, just to make it as painless as possible. Plus, it would confuse the fuck out of the medical examiner. (Not to mention everyone who witnessed my fall). It's raining men! Oh dear God, it's

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1117790930529667342005-06-03T05:21:00.000-04:002005-06-03T05:28:50.530-04:00

Here is a brief conversation that I heard while at Cocoa Beach on Monday. It's short, so please read slowly to savor the utter randomness of it.Young girl, eyes alight with wonder: Wow- look at all the umbrellas on the beach!Young boy, eyes alight with mischief: Your mama's an umbrella!Oh, snap! You know, it's really good to see the non-sensical "your mama" insult being brought back by the youth

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1117421727166478692005-05-29T22:53:00.000-04:002005-05-29T23:29:58.606-04:00

Many of us know that bizarre, impractical, and blatantly silly ideas often come from working in large companies. We all know how these come about. Some magical person with a fancy-pants title imagines that some less-magical person with a regular-pants title needs some extra step in their day to perform their job more efficiently. The former, hereafter known as "The Man," usually has his magical

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1116729020107600202005-05-21T22:29:00.000-04:002005-05-21T22:30:20.113-04:00

Me: oh- just so you know, I didn't net a single penis hit from my penis roundup. :'( It was a total failureTha Flav: That's weird, I've been getting to your blog for the past week by searching for '"Mario Batali" penis'Me: hahaha!Tha Flav: I mean, I'm searching for it anyway, so why not.I'm sure you all were dying to know that.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1116715306144157312005-05-21T18:24:00.000-04:002005-05-21T19:01:37.326-04:00

Today was supposed to be the grand unveiling of the list of penis-related hits that arose from last week's Penis Roundup. Tragically, it seems like even the best laid plans don't always attract creepy old porn hounds. On the surface, one would assume that any penis post would attract countless hits due to the unsettling number of times that americans search for penis related content. What I

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1116129930676195132005-05-14T23:55:00.000-04:002005-05-15T00:05:30.676-04:00

Someone has found my blog 3 times in the past few minutes by searching for the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel air theme song. Now, I can't please all my fans all the time, but as I am incredibly embarrassed to admit, I happen to know those words by heart. I'm the kind of dedicated blogger who's willing to let a little of her dignity die to please the readers, so here goes:(this is from memory,

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1116116011709567952005-05-14T19:03:00.000-04:002005-05-15T00:17:09.853-04:00

I've never actually followed through with any of my weekly features. But I have a good feeling about this one. Who doesn't love a good penis roundup? For this week's penis roundup, we start with a tragic tail of stupidity and science.Thailand's health ministry warned size-obsessed men on Friday to avoid trying to enlarge their penises with liquid injections, saying it could cause deformities. The

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1115948995232173382005-05-12T21:11:00.000-04:002005-06-10T00:29:16.036-04:00

This is a post for my good friend Flavian. He's visiting the grand city of Valdosta, Georgia next week- very much against his will. Apparently, he's being sent there by his employer, which sucks because they're sending him to Valdosta, but rocks because he can say he's going out of town "on business."I've *always* wanted to say I was going out of town "on business." The closest I've ever gotten

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1115942975262082822005-05-12T19:44:00.000-04:002005-06-03T05:20:49.343-04:00

It looks like the beachside shanty town isn't really my bag after all. It turns out that quitting my job and living off the fat-of-the-land is a little too... what's the word... "poor" for my tastes. After all, I'm used to making the big bucks as a low-level employee at a technical college. Plus, there's not much fat to live off of when the only thing around you is sand, saltwater and drunk

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1115180842981653162005-05-04T00:24:00.000-04:002005-05-04T00:27:22.986-04:00

I'm on vacation this week. I'm at the beach and I don't plan to do anything that isn't in the following list:1. lazing around on the beach2. eating3. watching Arrested Development rerunsAs you can no doubt see, "blogging" isn't on the list. So you all can just bugger off until Saturday, when I might be back. Unless I decide to give the finger to the "rat race" and move into a beachside shanty

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1114223757753062202005-04-22T22:24:00.000-04:002005-06-03T05:00:19.320-04:00

I'm starting a new regular feature on this blog called "Flavian Fridays." This will feature raw, unedited, unfiltered and yes, sometimes XXX rated conversations with Flavian. Flavian, for those of you not in the wankershanks know, is either played by Brian (Guy Incognito) or Ryan (RCWanker). Sometimes, I can't really tell them apart, so I figure the rest of you shouldn't be able to

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1114072421830779042005-04-21T03:48:00.000-04:002005-04-21T23:54:56.356-04:00

So, Flavian and I have few things in common. Very few things. He sleeps with a blanket that says "binary" in binary. I do not. He wears shirts that have some freaky waterproof teflon-style coating on them. I do not. He drives a clown car cleverly marketed as an urban hipster-mobile. I do not.But we do have one thing in common that brings us together over and over again: the burning desire to act

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1114069659382175652005-04-21T03:44:00.000-04:002005-04-21T03:47:39.383-04:00

You accidentally walk into the men's bathroom at school.Oh, but it doesn't stop there. I should continue with "you accidentally walk into the men's bathroom at school... and your first thought isn't 'AHHHH! Wrong bathroom!' it's "huh. urinals. That seems like an ineffective way to use the space in a women's bathro... AHHH! Wrong bathroom!"If I was like, a firefighter, instead of just a confused

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1113730046304250662005-04-17T05:19:00.000-04:002005-04-21T03:44:24.196-04:00

I know it's hard to believe, but it turns out that not *everyone* is a fan of this blog. In fact, I got a rather nasty IM earlier today from someone calling it a "crazy feminist blog." Now, hate-mail is nothing new. It happens when you're as widely read as I am. But this hate-mail was unique in that it came from one of this blog's contributing authors.Thanks, Flavian/Brian/Guy Incognito. You're

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1113710798560710182005-04-16T23:31:00.000-04:002005-04-17T00:10:13.380-04:00

Oh boy- Andrea Dworkin is going to be rolling over in her grave and flicking me off today. I was over at wonkette!when I saw a link to an article about two earnest environmentalists who were trying to make a difference in the world. What happens when some naked hippies get ahold of a camera? Apparently, it's called Eco Porn! Normally, this kind of thing annoys me, but really- how can you be

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1113630762472694452005-04-16T01:23:00.000-04:002005-04-16T02:00:33.116-04:00

I've been trying for days to think of what to post about the death of Andrea Dworkin. Clearly, I've thought about it for too long, because good ol' Flea at One Good Thing(scroll to 4/12) has already posted everything that was in my head. Well, almost everything. I started rereading my favorite Dworkin speech. "I Want a 24-Hour Truce During Which There Is No Rape" was delivered in 1983 to a group

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1113625473792695582005-04-16T00:18:00.000-04:002005-04-16T00:24:33.793-04:00

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. (Reuters) - A bunch of computer-generated gibberish masquerading as an academic paper has been accepted at a scientific conference in a victory for pranksters at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. To their surprise, one of the papers -- "Rooter: A Methodology for the Typical Unification of Access Points and Redundancy" -- was accepted for presentation. "Rooter" features

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112916978141486222005-04-07T19:30:00.000-04:002005-06-10T00:28:33.436-04:00

Sesame Street's beloved Cookie Monster is officially on the wagon.on the wagon. http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/07/tv.cookie.lessmonster.ap/index.htmlThat's right, folks. According to a an urgent CNN report, the cookie monster is ... now advocating eating healthy. There's even a new song -- "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food," where Cookie Monster learns there are "anytime" foods and "sometimes"

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112915898632419192005-04-07T19:17:00.000-04:002005-04-07T19:18:42.080-04:00

How do you measure success? For me, it's when your blog is listed as the FIRST TWO LINKS for a google search on "scawwy jesus."Oh yeah. Ohhhhhh yeaaaaah.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112892622157615572005-04-07T12:39:00.000-04:002005-04-07T12:52:16.820-04:00

I think it's been well established that nobody likes South Carolina. Further proof that the whole state should be paved over [source]:A man who could not find his cell phone pulled a gun and ordered three women to take off their clothes to see whether they were hiding it, police said.Smooth. Who was the criminal mastermind behind this dastardly deed?A man identified only as “Fat Daddy” went to a

Guy Incognitohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12526709339880180010noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112606093320388932005-04-04T04:56:00.000-04:002005-04-04T05:23:11.166-04:00

ohhhh, prolifers. You slay me. A new website: www.prochoice.com, alleges to "empower women to make informed choices!" And how do they do that? With the vibrating fetus graphic! Wave to the camera, little fetus! Oh, but it's not all movin-pictures. It's also a much-needed source for women who are faced with the prospect of an unwanted pregnancy. There are so many questions to be answered. It's

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112503756570533302005-04-02T23:44:00.000-05:002005-04-02T23:51:34.813-05:00

I've given up on ever being president. I just don't think that we'll see a woman president in my life time. There are more realistic goals and power grabs for me to aspire to. That's why I'm running for "pope."Being that I'm not catholic, I have no idea who decides this. That's why I'm just putting it out here, for word to spread through the wonder of the internet. So if someone could let god or.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112419826094535732005-04-02T00:23:00.000-05:002005-04-02T00:31:02.290-05:00

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- Gov. Rod Blagojevich approved an emergency rule Friday requiring pharmacies to fill birth control prescriptions quickly after a Chicago pharmacist refused to fill an order because of moral opposition to the drug.My favorite part:"No delays. No hassles. No lectures."and the Planned Parenthood rep naturally had some quality input:"When medical professionals write

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112345418885011532005-04-01T03:47:00.000-05:002005-04-01T04:28:11.383-05:00

So the government has a new website called 4parents.gov. It's about the sex. Specifically the teens having the sex. Hilarious? You bet. They offer helpful tips for parents who are trying to discuss the possible consequences of sex with their teenage children. "But how would a parent bring up such a conversation?" you ask yourself. Fear not! The feds have provided this little gem for you to break

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112335588773417552005-04-01T00:50:00.000-05:002005-04-01T01:06:28.773-05:00

Ugh... I just finished watching the movie Garden State. It's almost as bad as Lost In Translation, but at least this time I wasn't deluded into thinking that ghostbusting might occur."Deep" romantic comedies make me want to gouge my eyes out. I can't stop watching them because I keep thinking that they have to get better. That's why I need to just gouge my eyes out, you see? I don't want to have

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112319975616888902005-03-31T20:33:00.000-05:002005-04-01T01:06:39.650-05:00

I don't feel like actually blogging today. But I haven't in a while, so I need to post something. Here are the most recent google searches that people have used to find my blog, that I felt worthy of posting here. Enjoy."gossip hilary duff condom" was my personal favorite. My website is proudly located after a list of "nude celebrity pics" and before a list of "HIV positive celebrities revealed!"

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1112286731964079592005-03-31T11:06:00.000-05:002005-03-31T11:34:00.156-05:00

The battle is over. The end has come. Guitarist Rod Price has died. Rod, of course, was the lead guitarist of Foghat, best known for their hits "Slow Ride" and "Slow Ride [Extended Remix]". Now is the time for mourning and for prayer. The healing process will be a long one, but I can take some small solace in the fact that Rod died as he lived - falling down the stairs.

Guy Incognitohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12526709339880180010noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1111810336873060542005-03-25T23:11:00.000-05:002005-03-25T23:19:15.420-05:00

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- A symbol of Christianity that sits atop church steeples, dangles from necks and hangs on walls is now ending up in the mouths of the faithful, over the objections of some religious officials.A mass-produced chocolate cross is being sold this Easter by Russell Stover Candies Inc. in about 5,000 stores nationwide, which experts say is apparently a first for a major American

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1111810062689163882005-03-25T23:00:00.000-05:002005-03-25T23:07:42.690-05:00

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/217156_janedoe23.html"I could not imagine going through five more months of pregnancy, knowing that the baby will never survive or have any kind of life whatsoever," the woman, then 19, told a federal judge in August 2002...She won her case and had the abortion. But more than two years later, the federal government continues to fight her, trying to get the

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1111808077114581002005-03-25T21:58:00.000-05:002005-03-25T22:56:44.823-05:00

We've all heard the stories about Jesus appearing in a waffle, or a bunion that is the spitting image of the Virgin Mary. Really, it's about time that Satan made a cameo. And make one he did! With the same flourish of style and hint of irony that we've come to expect from the prince of darkness, he appeared to a pet shop owner in the form of a turtle... named Lucky.Apparently, the evidence is

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1111400059486184452005-03-21T04:55:00.000-05:002005-03-25T22:48:59.840-05:00

So my buddy Flavian and I went furniture shopping today. Flavian needed a couch. I needed a new dining room table since a rogue cadre of lesbians stole mine the day before. (note: by "stole" I mean I begged them to take it away because it was a ferociously ugly table. And by "rogue cadre," I mean "two of my friends." And by lesbians, I mean, well, I actually do mean lesbians. Don't ask me why I

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1111135014665127442005-03-18T02:38:00.000-05:002005-03-18T03:36:54.670-05:00

I thought about calling this thread something like the "Fox News Jackass of the Month," and making it a regular feature. Then I realized that it would be too hard to properly honor all the jackasses at Fox by limiting myself to 12 times per year. I could do a weekly one, but even that might not do justice. Daily? Hourly? Perhaps I should just keep a more analog, if you will, live-blog tally so

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1110709362110005742005-03-13T05:06:00.000-05:002005-03-13T05:22:42.113-05:00

I am sitting here at my desk, at 5:06am eastern time, mowing down a bag of stale valentine's hearts. You know, the Necco wafer ones? I think I've hit a new low in my life. I'm actually reading them.Some of them make sense for valentine's day: Miss you, only you, it's love, etc. Some of them don't make sense, but can be forgiven as they're clearly misguided attempts to keep up with the times: Fax

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1110683000715804762005-03-12T22:01:00.000-05:002005-03-12T22:03:20.716-05:00

This blog is for you, my readers, to thank you for bestowing a great honor upon me. I am officially on the first yahoo search page for "turd in car transcript crank yankers." This is not an award that I take lightly. I would post more, but I'm a little misty-eyed.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1109410492391057772005-02-26T04:25:00.000-05:002005-02-26T04:41:36.116-05:00

Live in Kansas at your own risk.So... there's a possibility for a crime to have been committed. There isn't a shred of proof that one did, and there's not a single suspect. And this douchebag wants the medical histories of women and girls released to him. Based on that. Wow.I'd like for all proctologists to release their records, too. Clearly, something might have crawled up someone's ass and

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1109377953601689452005-02-25T19:29:00.000-05:002005-02-25T19:32:33.603-05:00

I know everyone loves the movie Lost in Translation. I know that I'm supposed to be one of the sensitive intellectuals who can enjoy a complete lack of plot and explosionage. But here's the thing: I see Bill Murray's name on a movie? I expect Ghostbuster quality. Bare minimum. I don't think that's too much to ask for. Would it have *killed* them to throw in a creepy, dead librarian or two? I

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1109310085715925822005-02-24T23:56:00.000-05:002005-02-25T00:41:25.716-05:00

Pro-lifers take themselves entirely too seriously. This can provide an insane amount of entertainment for the rest of us normal folk. I found this secret out one day when I went with my friend to an abortion clinic. She was actually just there to pick up her birth control, as the abortion clinic sells it more cheaply than a regular pharmacy, but the protestors outside didn't know that. As we were

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1109303462116676482005-02-24T22:45:00.000-05:002005-02-25T19:09:40.686-05:00

More adventures with Jon Thomas Lore...Outside the bank today, there were some people soliciting donations for a well known group called DARE, which strives to keep kids off drugs.For some bizarre reason, I decided to tell Jon Thomas about it. Jon's response?"I woulda given her some change and just said 'yeah. I hate it when I go to my dealer and he's says he's all out cause some teenagers bought

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1108774502362907432005-02-18T19:14:00.000-05:002005-02-18T19:55:02.363-05:00

Dems everywhere, don't cry. It's not as bad as it seems.I know several friends who were near suicidal when this gallup poll was released: http://www.gallup.com/poll/content/?ci=14974Okay, okay. So people named Reagan as the greatest president. I'll say it if no one else will. It's cause he just died. Nothing raises popularity like death. You have to wait at least 5 years after a president's death

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1108165491471766072005-02-11T18:31:00.000-05:002005-02-11T18:44:51.473-05:00

There's nothing better than hearing *part* of a conversation... the part that's completely weird if taken out-of-context. This was part of a conversation that was too good to keep to myself. The roles are played by my boss, A and my co-worker, T. A- That's the guy with the tatoo of jesus, right?T- He does not have a tatoo of jesus!A- The hell he doesn't! Right on his leg!T- No! That guy is

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1108014380856139852005-02-10T01:24:00.000-05:002005-02-10T17:44:32.140-05:00

For some time now, I've had a severe armadillo-phobia. Some would call it an "irrational fear." They lay on that "it's more scared of you than you are of it" line- like anyone actually buys that. That's what the armadillos want you to think. So as I pulled up to our apartment after work tonight it was unsettling to discover an armadillo between my car and my apartment. Perhaps I should explain

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1107071974258902412005-01-30T02:55:00.000-05:002005-01-30T03:04:23.113-05:00

For some weird reason, this email from the engineering department at my university completely cracked me up. I just had to share it with someone. Aren't you lucky? "Thermo-Mechanical Effects in Multi-Component Micro-Systems in Electronic Applications" DAY: 28 January 2005, Friday TIME: 2:00 pm PLACE: Engr I Bldg, Room 224 Snacks will be provided. Please see attached abstract

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1107044430141190372005-01-29T19:03:00.000-05:002005-01-30T03:06:59.383-05:00

We all make mistakes. Some are apparently less forgiveable than others... say, killing someone. That's usually a biggie. Among my friends, subjecting them to the wrong indie flick is capital punishment worthy. I learned this after picking out a saucy little movie called Urinal. Now, I still maintain that there was no way I could have predicted the unparalleled badness of this movie. From the

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1106978559931324442005-01-29T01:56:00.000-05:002005-01-29T01:05:38.946-05:00

Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I would just like to point out how forward thinking this mid-december post of mine was: Here in modern day civilization, we've moved on to... oh, let's say, the Spongebob movie. And, you know, how it relates to... stuff. And so we have. Stupid gay sponges. Fantastic.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1106960354658058852005-01-28T19:21:00.000-05:002005-01-28T19:59:14.660-05:00

So, my good friend Flavian (aka Brian, aka what-ever-the-hell-his-name-is-on-here-cause-I'm-too-lazy-to-look) and I went to Washington, DC. Again. This time, Ryan was absent, although there in spirit, I'm sure. Overall, it was a good trip. But, as always, mistakes were made. In the interest of serving the public (which is clearly my goal with this blog) I'd like to share a few of those mistakes

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1105090705133111282005-01-07T03:57:00.000-05:002005-01-07T04:59:19.296-05:00

Absolute fucking insanity apparently has a new name:HB1677. As well as a new master: Sen. John Cosgrove (R- surprise!) of Virginia. I'd like to be funny about this, but really, it's not funny. It's monstrous. It's frightening. And it's some of the most twisted and downright mean legislation that pro-lifers have come up with in recent memory. Not for lack of trying, of course. According to the

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1104996283302632442005-01-06T01:59:00.000-05:002005-01-06T02:34:15.750-05:00

Tucker Carlson, as well as the CNN show Crossfire which made him and his bowties famous, has officially been sacked. Everyone who is anyone immediately asked themselves: "Did Jon Stewart have anything to do with this? Please god tell me that Jon Stewart had something to do with this." Oh, and he did! For everyone who isn't anyone, Jon Stewart is the beloved host of the "fake news" Comedy

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1103818459609770492004-12-23T10:52:00.000-05:002004-12-23T21:58:16.513-05:00

It's Christmas time, and people are out of town, so I suppose the duty to post something is mine. It is a burden I begrudgingly shoulder. I don't want to change the theme of this godforsaken blog, nor do I want to lure search engines in here using terms like "Nazi paraphernalia" or "gay pornography." Oops. Well, what's done is done. To prevent any futher damage, I will henceforth mimic the "

Guy Incognitohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12526709339880180010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1102730309710058212004-12-10T20:52:00.000-05:002004-12-10T20:58:29.710-05:00

Every now and then I have a conversation with a friend that cracks me up so much, it deserves to be put here unedited, and without commentary from me. Without further delay, I give you the comedic stylings of Brian Pflueger: Brian: I have a juicer, a blender, a neat-o coffee maker (I actually use that one.) I've used the juicer probably... twice? Me: bread maker? I NEED that! How else will I

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1102033070267816662004-12-02T18:53:00.000-05:002004-12-02T19:17:50.266-05:00

Wow. So I sent an email to my boss about mr. wannabe-phone-sex-operator 34. And I cc'd the head of security. They are *so* cool. The head of security forwarded it to the property manager who promptly called the company supervisor. Apparently, they record all their phone calls!! I've been vindicated!! The supervisor said he was "absolutely appalled" and the property manager is going to call him

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1101714854859189812004-11-29T01:57:00.000-05:002004-11-29T03:03:20.600-05:00

November 2nd was, well, painful. It hurts to even think about that night- a night that started with such hope and ended with complete despair. Many democrats have been in mourning... almost as if we're recovering from a national tragedy. In the eyes of many, the reelection of Bush was a national tragedy. The night started off well enough. I spent the afternoon hanging out at the polls with a

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1101465132508373412004-11-26T05:09:00.000-05:002004-11-26T05:32:12.506-05:00

Lightning has struck me twice within the past week. How? How do these jackasses just flock to me? Tonight, as I do many nights at work, I had to call our alarm monitoring company. We had a fire alarm going off, but no fire. So, this is my job. This is the important part. Every few weeks they call and say: "We have an alarm going off at your location." To which I reply: "Oh shit. Don't send

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1101032033908832532004-11-21T04:22:00.000-05:002004-11-21T05:20:50.453-05:00

Oh boys. When will you learn? Normally I get really aggravated when someone hits on me at work. First of all, I think it's just rude. When I'm at work, I can't exactly walk away from you, nor can I tell you to go fuck yourself. So I'm immediately at a disadvantage. All I can really do is paste a smile on, pretend to be busy, and hope that you'll leave quickly. But they NEVER LEAVE QUICKLY! Not

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1100931981797813122004-11-20T01:16:00.000-05:002004-11-20T01:26:21.796-05:00

Call off the candlelight vigil. Flavian is alive. Apparently, reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated, as they say, although I think he enjoys the attention. So don't be surprised if he starts claiming to be dead anytime now. He's sneaky like that. So there have been no new run-ins with porch guy. I'll be going over there on sunday, though, so we'll see what transpires. I plan to

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1100916035904258482004-11-19T20:51:00.000-05:002004-11-19T21:00:35.903-05:00

So I talked to Flavian. Porch guy is getting creepier by the day. New reports from eyewitnesses (aka flavian) indicate that porch guy was standing inside his apartment with the blinds open when flavian got home from work the other day. Oh- did I mention that porch guy was bare-assed naked? Cause he was. When Flavian noticed him staring, porch guy reportedly looked really pissed off. I haven't

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1100481024155353812004-11-14T19:49:00.000-05:002004-11-14T20:18:07.970-05:00

Serial killers. They may be morbidly fascinating to watch on Court TV, but you do not want one living near you. Really. They're not good neighbors. So I went to visit my friend Brian (aka flavian, aka guy incognito) today. He just moved to the central florida area, and found himself with a very limited apartment selection due to the recent hurricane damage. Actually, he only had one option, and

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1100418656636938052004-11-14T02:33:00.000-05:002004-11-14T02:52:03.783-05:00

When you're saying "P sub S" in class, as in, "the letter P with a subcript of S," PLEASE make sure to enunciate. Cause as a barely-awake student, all I'm hearing is "In this problem, we need to find the correct piece of ass." And I *hate* being forced to snicker like a 10 year old in my senior-level classes.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1100417493700695232004-11-14T02:31:00.000-05:002004-11-14T02:31:33.700-05:00

Fuck.

Guy Incognitohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12526709339880180010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1100414629278023132004-11-14T01:24:00.000-05:002004-11-14T01:43:49.276-05:00

Okay, okay okay. I haven't posted anything for a while. Sorry bout that. I've mostly been stewing in bitterness, disbelief, and a bit of vegetable boullion. But after much moping and a few suicide attempts, I've come to a conclusion. I can't force other people to see the world my way. I can't shove tolerance down the throats of those I can't tolerate. I can't change the outcome of this election

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1098575435304387102004-10-23T19:44:00.000-04:002004-10-23T19:57:26.090-04:00

Now, for a long time, people have said that I'm a partisan asshole whenever I claim that Bush supporters are stupid. Stupid is usually an "opinion" kinda thing. But thanks to a new poll by www.PIPA.org, the realms of "opinion" and "fact" are being blurred in a wonderful way. Even after the final report of Charles Duelfer to Congress saying that Iraq did not have a significant WMD program, 72%

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1098492956748493102004-10-22T20:53:00.000-04:002004-10-23T04:56:12.160-04:00

Preliminary reports indicate that some college kids threw pies at Ann Coulter. This is a second hand report courtesy of my good friend from http://www.livejournal.com/users/metalprophet/. I will post updates as they become available. ... update- apparently, the first pie missed her, while the second one grazed her shoulder as she fled the scene. Still scanning for a link. No word yet as to the

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1098489859139620762004-10-22T19:47:00.000-04:002004-10-22T20:31:01.496-04:00

Wow. Apparently my blog is high up on Google for Brytec Roofing hits. Seriously, I've gotten more traffic from that little rant than I have from all my frozen dinner reviews and my tampon-talk *combined.* The people have spoken. First of all, for those of you playing along at home... here's a link to my first rant about the topic: rant! Now for the updates: there aren't any. Well, not really.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1098063998294857902004-10-17T21:45:00.000-04:002004-10-22T20:23:45.210-04:00

my god. they already have t-shirts.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1098055104734281892004-10-17T19:16:00.000-04:002004-10-17T19:18:24.736-04:00

Whoever found my blog by searching for "women over 40 fucking," this blog is just for your sorry ass. Go fuck yourself. Seriously. Take your nasty little porn-crazed self away from civilized society. And don't EVER come to my blog again.

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1097909205130432382004-10-16T02:29:00.000-04:002004-10-16T02:46:45.130-04:00

Looks like I haven't posted to my blog in quite a while. Whaddaya know. Things have been crazy and hectic. The douchebags who fucked my roof up and ruined tons of my shit (Hey Brytec Roofing of Orlando, FL- I'm looking at you!) are avoiding my calls like the plague. If I don't hear back from them by Monday, then I'll start Phase 2 on Tuesday. They don't want to see Phase 2. It'll start with

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1097366045563993742004-10-09T19:32:00.000-04:002004-10-09T20:11:36.266-04:00

Like many people, I was fucking baffled when Bush mentioned the Dred Scott case in last night's debate. Sooooo... he wasn't going to appoint anyone who was pro-slavery? Ummmm, at this point, I would hope that's a given in this country. But according to the DailyKos, there's more to this story that many of us saner voters probably missed: When Bush made reference to "Dred Scott" he was assuring

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1097285707140786302004-10-08T21:34:00.000-04:002004-10-08T21:35:07.140-04:00

Did Bush just yell down the moderator and demand time to respond to Kerry's statements?!?! Did that just happen? What the freaking fuck was that????

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1096863998304367442004-10-03T23:35:00.000-04:002004-10-04T01:34:41.836-04:00

Fuck Bush and fuck the fucking asshat goons in his shithole administration. Look, I've been entirely too nice to this psychotic chimp we have lose in the white house and I'm fucking fed up. How dare you. How fucking dare you try to claim that you gave two shits and a fuck about the women in Iraq when you awarded a major grant to the fucking IWF (which Lynne Cheney is conveniently on the board

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1096852916073289472004-10-03T21:04:00.000-04:002004-10-03T21:32:11.070-04:00

Apparently, the Chief Political Correspondant for Fox News is quite biased in favor of the right wing. (I know everyone is just shocked and appalled.) Even more so, he MADE UP quotes from Kerry and plopped them into a fake story that was then posted on Foxnews.com. Dan Rather to God: "Hallelujah!!!" Us normal folk would assume that foxnews can't possibly continue on with their hypocritical

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1096769038923776692004-10-02T21:46:00.000-04:002004-10-02T22:26:09.210-04:00

The tv dinner. It's beauty lies in it's simplicity. This should be obvious to everyone. Apparently, it is not. Tonight's Healthy Choice feast required seven- count them- SEVEN steps prior to consumption. Just configuring the box properly was like trying to play Jenga while intoxicated. First you open it, (left side only!!) making sure not to disrupt the integrity of the reinsertion tab. Then

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1096697437616921002004-10-02T02:06:00.000-04:002004-10-02T22:58:37.356-04:00

The most widespread phobia in America today seems to be the fear of tampons and their ilk. For women, it's the fear that other people might know that we (gasp!) use them once in a while. There are even products marketed to women that specifically tout their spy-like abilities. There's the pad that comes with a special wrapper that makes no noise... so ze Germans won't hear you approaching! The

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1096696610865062522004-10-02T01:38:00.000-04:002004-10-02T01:57:57.993-04:00

As if we didn't all know it already, Kerry kicked Bush's ass during last night's debate. The only reason I'm stating the blatantly obvious is because, apparently, it isn't obvious to a lot of really dumb people. So this post is just for you, dumb people. When a debater looks like a frustrated chimp who can't find his banana, that's probably a good indication that he didn't win the debate. When

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1096014870646549512004-09-24T04:20:00.000-04:002004-09-24T04:38:23.413-04:00

I'm tired of taunting hurricanes. I know you all look forward to it, and by god, I'll try to deliver. But I'm not a machine, people! This is emotionally draining work! If this was the kind of thing that could be outsourced, I'd do it in a heartbeat just so you blood thirsty insult hoarders could be sated! It's all for you, people! Besides, look at the good it's done me so far: 3 tauntings and 3

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1096013325163906902004-09-24T03:41:00.000-04:002004-09-24T04:10:53.180-04:00

If the man who wrote "Morning has Broken" and "Peace Train" isn't safe from accusations of terrorism, then no one is. That's right. Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam) was refused entrance into the US and sent back to London, that hotbed of terrorism that he suspiciously resides in. As far as I can tell, his only crime is being a dirty-ass hippie with a beard that hasn't seen so much as a Supercuts in

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1096004076416292622004-09-24T01:40:00.000-04:002004-09-24T04:41:09.420-04:00

Imagine, if you will, a balmy afternoon in the sub-tropical paradise that is central Florida. You've just settled down for a nice nap as you hear the soothing sound of a summer storm outside your window. You snuggle up and listen to the gentle patter of rain falling on a canopy of palm trees. You're so in tune with the rhythm, you can almost feel the water droplets. Then, you do feel the water

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1095987122061954892004-09-23T20:46:00.000-04:002004-09-23T20:52:02.063-04:00

Why? Why do the hurricanes ALWAYS come on the weekends?!?! Come on, now! I could overlook the death and destruction if I at least got a few extra days off of school to work on my c++ project. Seriously. Cut me some slack, jeanne! Go ahead and bring your wrath to central florida. But next time, call ahead to schedule the visit! I'd like to get some use out of my PDA before your vengeful floods

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7369151.post-1095655708400731912004-09-19T23:57:00.000-04:002004-09-20T01:13:23.253-04:00

I'm at work tonight, bored as usual. So I'm going to take the time to let you all in on some important advice that I wouldn't normally share with just anyone. There's no need to thank me. I'm just using the gifts I've been blessed with to help others in need. I've mentioned before that there are many important decisions in our lives. Some can be life-altering. Some can make or break you in the

bikinikillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08185811687432273151noreply@blogger.com3