Fun with Pro-Lifers

Pro-lifers take themselves entirely too seriously. This can provide an insane amount of entertainment for the rest of us normal folk. I found this secret out one day when I went with my friend to an abortion clinic. She was actually just there to pick up her birth control, as the abortion clinic sells it more cheaply than a regular pharmacy, but the protestors outside didn't know that. As we were walking in the door, the protestors geared up:

"THEY'RE KILLING BAAAAABIES IN THERE!" A woman screamed passionately at us.

"Oh shit!" I said. "I thought they were giving away puppies!"

We pretended to turn around, but couldn't stop laughing long enough to pull it off.

The realization that pro-lifers have *no* sense of humor when it comes to the whole "baby-killing" thing has really helped me keep my sanity through protests. I used to just flick them off and do the whole "my body, my choice!" chant. Which is nice, don't get me wrong. There's nothing like a good chant. And flicking them off does provide a certain "warm fuzzy" that few things can replace. But there is a much deeper satisfaction that comes with really having a hearty laugh instead.

I remember at the March for Women's Lives up in DC, there was a proud pro-lifer along the march route. He held up a sign with some nonsense about abortion being a modern holocaust. Unlike the more polite protestors, he was standing in the march route, where we had to bump around him as we passed. This would have been annoying, had it not provided a GREAT opportunity to sticker his back without his knowledge. By the end of the march, he had more "Pro-choice is pro-woman!" and "Every child a wanted child!" stickers on him than Susan Sarandon and Ani Difranco combined. I wish I could have been there when he found our gifts of love.

Speaking of protests, My good friend Brian (aka guyincognito) and I were tossing around an idea when we were in DC this past January. We were at the American History Museum and noticed a guy in the mall holding a sign. The sign said: "Sin is evil." Now, it just looked lonely. I mean, marching for something that has no real opponent is kinda sad. We really wanted to stand next to him, holding a sign that said "Yay sin!" I might have even pretended to let him convert me. "You mean... sin is *evil?* But... this ruins my whole idea of good and, um, you know... evil. What have I been doing with my life?!?"

Unfortunately, we had nothing with which to construct some signage. Brian, always one for a "get rich quick... off sucker political activists" scheme decided that it would be a great idea to make a compactable, eraseable protest sign. A must have for the liberal-on-the-go. Think about the potential. You could protest ANYTHING, ANYWHERE with no warning at all. Don't like the service at your local falafel joint? Break out the sign! Vending machine eat your dollar? Break out the sign! Tired of people protesting stuff? Hey- you've got a sign for that, buddy!

You'd better pre-order now. These puppies are going to fly off the shelves.