When placemats attack

So someone found my blog while searching for "painless geography placemats." I have NO idea what kind of sadistic geography placemats this lost soul is currently dealing with but there clearly needs to be a better way to attain geographical information while eating potroast, people! If they ended up at my blog in search of help, they're clearly running out of ideas. I fear that time is a factor here. This time it's just a map of the earth. Next time, who know? It could be planetary placemats after your ass. And that just isn't something I'll stand for.