Shout out

Just wanted to give a shout-out to my homies at Lowe's. Whazzaaaa?!? Hardware reprazentin! Appliances in da hizzous!

I used to shop at Lowe's a lot. My husband and I would play a game called the $5 bong. It's pretty self explanatory. You have to make a bong out of stuff for sale in the store and you can only spend $5. It's not that hard until you run into the helpful staff. This requires quick thinking at a time when you're maybe not thinking so quick, and it usually goes about like so:

helpful staff: "So, what size PVC pipe are you looking for?"

me: "Ummmmm... about this size: (makes an "o" with mouth while giggling hysterically)"

helpful staff: "Okaaaaaay... is this for a plumbing project?"

me: "ha ha ha you said 'plumbing.' (giggling, but thinking fast) Um no. It's for... an art project. Or something."

helpful staff: "Okaaaaaaay. What type of art project?"

me: "The kind that requires pipe."

helpful staff: (suspiciously looking at bizarre assortment in cart)"You're making a bong out of this, aren't you?"

me: "No. NO! (drops pipe and runs)

You can see I'm suave. I don't think I've ever made it through a whole $5 bong game without running out of the store. Somehow, that fair-weather friend that I shop for also causes me to believe that a Lowe's employee actually has the power to arrest me. They haven't caught me yet, though!