So, I'm back

It looks like the beachside shanty town isn't really my bag after all. It turns out that quitting my job and living off the fat-of-the-land is a little too... what's the word... "poor" for my tastes. After all, I'm used to making the big bucks as a low-level employee at a technical college. Plus, there's not much fat to live off of when the only thing around you is sand, saltwater and drunk teenagers. Unless someone tells me how to grow soybeans in 90 proof puke, I think I'll stay put.

I did have a fantastic time at the beach, though. I did everything on the list in my last post and more. So when my friends Brian and Greg suggested that we have a "Tuesday Spectacular" (that name is all my idea... if I could find the ASCII code for it, I'd totally do the copyright logo next to it.) that concluded with a day of surfing in the shimmering waters of Cocoa beach on wednesday, I was all for it. Such is my rediscovered love of all things beachy.

And what is a Tuesday Spectacular? Well, first I have to explain it's humble origins: the "Tuesday Night Rum Night." This was a tradition back in the day where we all got together on Tuesdays and drank a lot of rum. The name, therefore, is kinda self explanatory. The only issue is the obvious reuse of the word "night." Why not just "Tuesday Rum Night," you ask? Or, for brevity's sake, "Rum Tuesdays?" Well, because I was always drunk while pondering this, and the name just stuck, okay?

Now, clearly a Tuesday Spectacular is much bigger and better than just any old Tuesday Night Rum Night. This particular Tuesday Spectacular started out with me, Mr. Wankershanks and assorted friends smoking [substance deleted]* at Brian's place. Then we devoured some cheesecake, a canister of Pringles, a lot of candy bars and other assorted snacky foods while watching kung fu movies. This is clearly the way to go about watching kung fu movies. The realization that I've been doing it all wrong for 23 years is sobering... Or perhaps that's the wrong word to use here.

Anyway. It was then a short jaunt over to our place where leftover liquid Cinco De Mayo party favors (aka margueritas) awaited. The plan was to have a few drinks, do a little karaoke, and fall asleep in time for an early morning trek to Cocoa Beach. It turns out that smoking [substance deleted], drinking tequila and watching Wonder Showzen until 5 am does not lend itself to early morning beach trips. I think I've learned this lesson before, but I must have been too hungover to remember.

So we have another Tuesday Spectacular planned for this tuesday. Will we make it to the beach? Will we learn from our mistakes, or are we doomed to repeat them? Will Flavian and Mr. Wankershanks torture us with another suicide-inducing rendition of "Under Pressure" or will we eat their insides before they can grab the microphones?

I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats. Tune in next week to find out! Or don't. I'll probably forget about this by then.

______________________________________________________
* [substance deleted] for several reasons:
a.) I don't want to be personally responsible for making the baby jesus cry
b.) Impressionable youngsters, pure of mind and soul (such as Flavian), regularly read this blog.
c.) I'd probably have a third reason if I wasn't a bad person who thinks that [substance deleted] isn't really that big of a deal. So just pretend there's some great moral-type stuff here.