Furniture Shopping with Flavian

So my buddy Flavian and I went furniture shopping today. Flavian needed a couch. I needed a new dining room table since a rogue cadre of lesbians stole mine the day before.

(note: by "stole" I mean I begged them to take it away because it was a ferociously ugly table. And by "rogue cadre," I mean "two of my friends." And by lesbians, I mean, well, I actually do mean lesbians. Don't ask me why I even included that detail, although I suspect it has something to with the fact that 'rogue cadre of lesbians' sounds really damned cool.)

Anyway, so off we went to the Rooms-to-Go outlet. We browsed and browsed. Every now and then I would jokingly point to one of the "ugly" couches and say "boy that one would look great in your place" with a sarcastic grin. He'd walk over to the couch slowly, make a serious lap around it, then cock his head slightly and look at me like a lost puppy. It took me a while to get it. Finally, when we approached the pleather, seafoam-green loveseat of doom, I knew something was up.

"Man, check out that seafoam green! What a steal!" I hooted.

"Um, is it a *nice* seafoam green?" he asked.

Something was up. Really up. That's when he pointed to a pitch-black couch and said "That purple one looks nice."

One of us was clearly color blind. How would we ever find out which one it was? A series of expensive, time-consuming tests would have to be conducted on the spot. There was simply no other way to resolve the matter.

"Oh, you know I'm color blind, right?" he asked.

Fair enough. I tried to be a true friend (the kind that screws over their buds whenever it's funny) and steer him back towards the seafoam green loveseat.

"Hey! Check out that loveseat!" I said, pointing once again to the seafoam sofa.

"Nope. That's the seafoam one. I remember the location." he said confidently.

We made a few laps of the store while I tried to disorient him. But he was too quick for me. Apparently he's colorblind, not stupid. Finally, we left without a couch or a dining room table. I missed a perfectly good opportunity to screw over a friend, and he missed... well, nothing. Actually, he dodged a damned ugly couch and is wiser for the wear.