I am sitting here at my desk, at 5:06am eastern time, mowing down a bag of stale valentine's hearts. You know, the Necco wafer ones? I think I've hit a new low in my life. I'm actually reading them.
Some of them make sense for valentine's day: Miss you, only you, it's love, etc.
Some of them don't make sense, but can be forgiven as they're clearly misguided attempts to keep up with the times: Fax me, page me, go girl, etc.
Some of them are in a catagory all their own. I'm staring at a little green candy that says, and I kid you not on this one, "Book Club." Next to it, is a purple heart that says "let's read." I can only imagine that this is some literacy campaign gone horribly awry.
There's also one that says "let it be." Clearly, there's a major quality control issue at the Necco wafer plant. Somehow, a rogue candy writer, who seems to be a demented cross between Laura Bush and a tree-hugging hippy, has been allowed to roam free amongst the little hearts of love.
I don't know what this world has come to... but worry not, fair readers! I intend to end this here and now. And then brush my teeth.
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