I've seen these eharmony.com commercials day in and day out. Usually, they pop up in the lonely hours of the early morning when I'm downing some baked tostitos and watching reruns of Living Single. I've never been interested in cheeseball dating services. But my good friend Brian (guy incognito to you all) got me interested recently.
Apparently, they were unable to match his "unique" personality style with any of the "tens of thousands of members."
Ouch.
Confident that I would have better luck, I signed up for the test myself. After several grueling minutes of stupid questions, I was finally ready to receive my matches-made-in-heaven.
Apparently, I'm also "unique."
Essentially, my "personality profile" offered just about every nicely worded form of "anti-social, surley bitch" that you can think of. I'm sorry. I meant to say that I "may seem aloof due to my cautious nature in my relationships."
At least it beat brian's profile, which informed him that "fire safety" was one of his wants/needs.
Undaunted by this rather unwelcome view of me, I went over to colorgenics.com to find out what a bunch of squiggly lines said about me.
And I swear to you, I am not making this up:
"Like a crow [you] are attracted to shiny objects"
That settles it. I'm an aloof bird of the night who hates people but can't keep my paws off of aluminum foil.
Works for me!
2 comments:
Methinks the folks at eHarmony specializes in Christian singles (at least I believe that's their intended audience). Perhaps that's the problem?
Like a crow, you are attracted to shiny objects?
Okay, that's hilarious! LMAO.
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